Nothing makes me more stressed and angry as bad drivers. Let me rephrase that; Nothing makes me more stressed and angry as drivers who talk on cell phones, go ten under the speed limit, are lost, constantly pump the brakes in bad weather, take forever to turn, wait two to three seconds until accelerating after a green light, stop at green lights, get disoriented and stop in the middle of roundabouts, race alongside you when you go to pass them, and eat while driving.
TALKING ON CELL PHONES: I once had a group of friends that constantly would call each other to talk on their phones while driving. I asked them why they did this, and they gave the most insane answer I have ever heard.”I just get lonely driving alone in the car for more then 20 minutes”. Good God. You will be even more lonely when you get distracted by what your friend said and you careen off the highway into a ditch to be pinned to your steering column for a week until rescuers find you. Talking on your phone + driving = distracted piss poor driving that annoys everyone else trying to actually get somewhere on time.
GO TEN UNDER THE SPEED LIMIT: There are not enough cops to police every stretch of roadway, and your car has brakes in case you happen upon one. It is only reasonable to drive 3 – 5 miles faster then the speed limit as a MINIMUM speed. There need to be GUNS embedded in every single car’s grill that become activated when they detect a car ahead of them going 10 under the speed limit when there are no extenuating circumstances (construction, rain, snow, etc.). That way we can pop a few rounds in their back fender and they will get the idea to go faster.
Note: I do not have a problem with tailgating or being tailgated: I see that as a sign that the car behind me wants to go faster. The message is received and I either move over a lane to let them pass or just drive faster. Too many people get mad when they are tailgated and decide to drive like more of a jackass. THAT’S WHY YOU ARE BEING TAILGATED IN THE FIRST PLACE!
DRIVERS THAT ARE LOST: GPS is really cheap these days! If you can’t afford that head over to your local library and check out a great site called Google maps! Hopefully one of these options will stop you from randomly hitting your breaks and swerving across two lanes of traffic to make your exit!
CONSTANTLY PUMPING THE BREAKS IN BAD WEATHER: This really gets me, because most of the time the weather isn’t even that bad and the driver constantly using the brakes isn’t going fast enough to warrant their obsession with the f$%ing pedals. YES it is raining and/or difficult to see. YES you may not stop as quickly as in pristine weather. TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR S#@T AND DRIVE.
TAKING FOREVER TO TURN: I don’t think this kind of thing can be changed, but it sure is annoying. After driving behind someone going ten under, talking on their phone, and being lost, it just acts as a kind of Final Dick Move when they take their sweet ass time turning in to their destination, especially if its a really lousy place (example: Kmart).
WAITING TWO TO THREE SECONDS TO ACCELERATE FOLLOWING A GREEN LIGHT: Okay, we had to wait through the Yellow, the Red, and now you want to still wait more? What the hell? It just turned green, punch it Sally! Does it take the average human being three seconds to process information received from the outside world and then make a command to hit the gas and let go of the brake? This has always annoyed me. In this day and age where we want everything conveniently done NOW with our wireless streaming internet you would think people would be quick on the stick. TIME is MONEY kind of thing. NOPE!
What’s worse is that if you honk at someone (polite quick honk) to get em in gear they give you the finger. F(#@ ME? F#@ YOU SLOWASS!
STOPPING AT GREEN LIGHTS: ITS GREEN. Yeah, it might turn yellow and then red, but if you continue through it at a constant rate of speed you will avoid the red light that inevitably follows the yellow after a couple of seconds. There is nothing NOTHING stupider then someone tapping the breaks as they go under a green light. You aren’t being aware, you are being brainless and timid behind the wheel. Green means Go so GODD@MMIT GO!!
GETTING DISORIENTED IN ROUNDABOUTS: Okay, so this one I would say is the stupidest thing you could do, but I think a lot of the roundabout issue is more politics then sheer dumbf#@ery. Roundabouts are kind of new to my area and I think the concept of them is too liberal/socialist for the neighborhoods they are in. I live in rural Michigan where a lot of people eat apple pie and God bless America and I think they see the roundabout as a foreign piece of crap that confuses them. So, that being said, they do stupid crap in them on purpose to get more people excited about hating roundabouts. I really believe this hypothesis because some of the crap I have seen drivers do in roundies is way wayyyy too stupid to be serious.
Someone drives into the roundabout and stops dead, waiting for more traffic to enter. AWESOME!
Stopping dead before entering the roundabout when no one is around for miles inside or outside the roundy (treating it like a 4 way stop). SUPER!
Going backwards into the roundy coming straight into head on traffic? WHAT THE HELL? Did you notice as you turned left into the roundabout how you kinda jumped the curb? ASSCLOWN!
RACE ALONGSIDE YOU WHEN YOU GO TO PASS: It seems to be a subconscious drive in this country that you should never be passed. You can drive twenty under the speed limit, but once someone goes to pass you something kicks in and you gotta race alongside them. I admit, I have fallen victim to this habit of bad driving. It’s like I will lose points if someone gets in front of me. I think it’s an ego thing. WELL STOPPIT. I am on my way to kicking this nasty habit and letting speeders keep on speeding. They obviously have somewhere to be faster than me. Let ’em go!
and finally, EATING WHILE DRIVING: Damn the idea of the Drive Thru. Not appropriate, distracting, and unclean. Wait until you get home and then enjoy your food.
NOW MOVE YOUR ASS!